[Devilfrog]

My wife picked up my son from daycare yesterday and in his folder was this note from the teacher:

"T. was put in time out for not listening and following the rules. At least 3 times today he was asked to not shoot guns. He was doing it again while in time out." :aarg

Apparently, the kids were playing cops & robbers at playground time (using fingers not real guns as the letter reads). The director of the school apparently has some ignorant rule that pretend guns, including "finger guns" are not allowed. (She also does not allow costumes on Halloween.) Usually when my son gets a note home he gets no tv time, but I could not enforce that this time. I explained that he would have to follow the rules and left it at that. Since I got back into security work my son has been playing cops & robbers a lot. I have also been teaching him gun safety and how to shoot his Red Ryder BB gun.
So I am debating having a talk with the director about this rule, can't see "finger guns," cops & robbers, GI Joe and cowboys & Indians causing deviate behavior or creating criminals. Heck, if that were the case I think most of us would be bad guys!
So what would you do?

<apologize for the venting>

 

[Buckley]

I feel for you. It's a stupid rule, but a rule none the less. The child is being creative, and they don't like it. I guess talking to your son is all you can do. Wish I could be more helpful. Gotta say, I can't blame the kid.

 

[Mac45]

Look for another daycare?

 

[lilarmy2001]

x2 on the finding another daycare.

 

[deadeyedick]

You should absolutely have a chat with the operator of the day care center...and you should remind her, in no uncertain terms, that above all else, you are a paying CUSTOMER. You should also demand to know the basis for such a ridiculous rule...can she provide any empirical evidence that playing "war games" has any negative impact on child development?

OTOH, since the day care center is a private entity, she could just as easily tell you tough luck...that's the rule; obey it or GTFO.

 

[T.S.]

Look for another daycare?

What he said .....

 

[Devilfrog]

Look for another daycare?

If I could, I would. At this time its not an option.

 

[Franklin]

I don't have neighbors and me and my boy tinkle in the yard. No biggy. Once at his Catholic Pre K, he tinkled on the playground...shut the place down and everybody went back to their classroom. The teacher told my boy he couldn't do that. My boy said he could (funny, later that day my boy came home angry and told me we couldn't tinkle outside and gave me a lecture). Anyway, he had to go visit the principle and because all the other little boys and girls saw his tinkle toy, the principle had to go and make sure they were all OK and all the children had to talk about it (trauma from seeing my boys tinkle toy).
When I grew up, if you had a problem, the shop teacher, coach or principle brought out the three foot paddle with holes in it. They were very proud of that instrument. After their beating they told you they were going to call your parents (terror). Then you got spanked again! If they did that now, they'd go to prison. Nobody ever back talked our teachers. You beat each other up, not shot each other. We talked about sneaking a beer. You get the idea, things have changed and not for the better.

 

[Paladin]

When I grew up, if you had a problem, the shop teacher, coach or principle brought out the three foot paddle with holes in it. They were very proud of that instrument. After their beating they told you they were going to call your parents (terror). Then you got spanked again! If they did that now, they'd go to prison. Nobody ever back talked our teachers. You beat each other up, not shot each other. We talked about sneaking a beer. You get the idea, things have changed and not for the better.

Amen to that.

I remember coming home from school by a different route. By the time I got home my mother already knew I took a different route home. The patrol lady told her and I still don't know how as we didn't have cell phones in the mid '60s.

As for the OP talk with the teacher or administrator about this. If they won't relent then there isn't much you can do no matter how stupid the rules are. If you son keeps doing the finger gun and they keep disciplining him threaten to sue them for damaging his self esteem.

Also next time send him to school with a .45 finger instead of that puny little 9mm he has been carrying. :rolf

 

[Huckleberry]

Franklyn, when I grew up one of my younger brothers was always getting in to trouble. He really pissed me off one day. So I made a paddle in shop class and wrote on it "The Board Of Education" and gave to my father. You know 40 years later I think he's still pissed at me.:laughing

 

[Huckleberry]

To post up my opinion on this, I would say its a whole different world that when I grew up. But like everywhere we go in life there are rules that have to be followed. Some we like, some we don't. But that is not to say it would not hurt to have a talk with the day care.

 

[patrickhenry1776]

Part of learning good gun (or finger) ownership is knowing when "use" is appropriate. I would see this as a chance to teach your son about the fact that there is a proper time and place for "gun" activity.

 

[deadeyedick]

Have the kid use a striker-fired 'gun' instead of one with an exposed hammer. That way it'll look like he's only pointing a finger at others.

 

[Red Dawg]

Now, now, do we really wanting him pointing a "finger"? They may think he is pointing "the finger" and get in more trouble than it is worth.:laughing

 

[N3OKI]

Now, now, do we really wanting him pointing a "finger"? They may think he is pointing "the finger" and get in more trouble than it is worth.:laughing

Well he could alway's use two fingers and tell people it is a derringer.:rolf

 

[RadTek]

x2 on the finding another daycare.

X3.....I'd FIND a way to make it an option... She sounds borderline abusive towards kid regarding their imaginative ways to play. So, I wonder if the kids changed it to a "ray" gun from outer space if that would be acceptable? No Halloween costumes!?!? Sorry, I respect the fact that circumstances can be difficult to do so, but, I'd have bounced that place yesterday, even if I had to just take some leave and stay home with him until I found a new place. Those kind of unyeilding, constricting policies towards kids scare me. A very good friend had their son come home one day with black and blue marks all over his legs, buttocks, and lower back. Turns out the babysitter was fond to whipping small children with a belt. She also had some odd restrictive rules in her house. Fortunately, thanks to a rare victory within our legal system, that lady will hopefully never be allowed to care for children again!

Is your son aware of the fact that you own and/or carry real guns? The reason I ask is, if so, you know it's just a matter of time before your son makes the "My dad has a gun" comment that gets back to this administrator. And given her unhealthy, incorrect and obviously paranoid view towards guns, she could be trouble for you.

 

[NkmG19]

Part of learning good gun (or finger) ownership is knowing when "use" is appropriate. I would see this as a chance to teach your son about the fact that there is a proper time and place for "gun" activity.

+1. I had to tell my sons that the guns in the house was a secret and that they were not to talk about it in public. Apparently my 6 yr old had a nice conversation about guns with his friends in Sunday school. His mother (ex-wife) was not too happy and for some reason felt embarrassed about this. Since then I have continued to teach both boys gun safety but also tell them to keep it a secret.

 

[Franklin]

+1. I had to tell my sons that the guns in the house was a secret and that they were not to talk about it in public. Apparently my 6 yr old had a nice conversation about guns with his friends in Sunday school. His mother (ex-wife) was not too happy and for some reason felt embarrassed about this. Since then I have continued to teach both boys gun safety but also tell them to keep it a secret.

It's sad that times have changed so much. When I grew up, every boy on the block started with a BB gun, then .22, then 20 gauge, then 12 and maybe a 30-30 or 30-06. We talked about guns at home, at school, church and shot our BB guns throughout the neighborhood, nobody cared.
Times have changed and it's very sad. My wife doesn't want me to talk or teach my kids about guns...rrriiiiiiiggggghhhht. My boy is only five and my girl is two BUT WHEN THEY'RE OLDER...it's gun time!

 

[Steve48]

If I could, I would. At this time its not an option.

Then you did the best thing you could do, IMO. You indicated to your son that you didn't think much of that rule, but also told him that he would have to obey it. Good life lesson for him.

 

[SEE IT LIKE A NATIVE]

Change Daycares

I would find another daycare center ! what might be fun is to ask the Liberal director "exactly what path she thinks you should pursue with regard to your sons behavior ? " I doubt you would want to follow it but it might be nice to know how she is thinking ! You might mention that when they play cops and robbers your son is only allowed to be a "good guy " and that his finger pointing is actually only a politically correct stun gun ! But that you understand her confusion ,what with her knowledge of such things coming from TV and movies instead of actual life experiences ! Kevin