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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
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I need some help here....my other half thinks I am way too paranoid when I am at home and out and about. She believes that nothing bad will ever happen around her, that stuff is only on tv. I have tried to get her to go shoot with me and I am always hit with "why"...I have thought many times that she just needs a good "close call" to shift her opinion, but I don't want to put her at risk just to prove my point. Is there some secret method to convince an invincable woman that "stuff really does happen" to real people. Any advise from anyone would be very helpful and I would be greatful to try it out. I always follow the above rules...it is just second nature to me. I have 9 yrs as a USMC Military Police and another 9 in private security. I suspect most everyone is capable of anything at any time. I don't even like telling people that I know what kind or amount of things that I have because they can talk to this person who talks to that person and next thing you know you are a victom because you talked too much. Maybe I am too paranoid, but I am ok with it.
 

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I have the same issue. My missus doesn't want anything to do with guns (I think it's her British up-bringing). Also, I think that some are truly reliant on the "man" for their protection and harbor a false sense of security even when he isn't present. Not all women, mind you, so don't you ladies on the forum beat on me for that! Nonetheless, there isn't a secret to converting them unless they want to. Usually, and unfortunately, it takes some sort of significant emotional event for that to happen. You may just have to let it go.
 

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Also, I think that some are truly reliant on the "man" for their protection and harbor a false sense of security even when he isn't present. Not all women, mind you, so don't you ladies on the forum beat on me for that!
Now, now, RoadGlider,

You don't have to step on egg shells around here. No one is going to beat you up - we might shoot you - but we won't beat you. That might break a fingernail and we wouldn't want that. haha

All kidding aside, this is a very serious topic. Truly, I wish more women would wake up and see the violence around them. Most women are simply oblivious about their personal safety and honestly never give it a second thought.

I think I've said it enough that I'm a stay-at-home-homeschooling mom. I will also boldly state that I am a Christian. I share that to make a point. It has been through experience and with my observations over the years I've found that my peers are the ones who are the most clueless. I've affectionately referred to them (uh, not in front of them [g] but just a fleeting thought in my mind) as the 'shriek and freak' women should something actually happen. For some reason I see them as the ones screaming instead of jumping into action. I'm not saying they would not protect their kids - I certainly wouldn't come between any of them - but I do observe a false sense of security and of being too trusting. I know they would do their best to protect their kids but with what? Throwing their body in front? I think the element of surprise would work well on a number of my friends. Please don't take this as passing judgment on my Christian friends or women in general. This is simply my observations over the past many, many years, and I just see the same mindset with many of them.

I don't know that there would be any magic bullet (har, har, no pun intended) to make any woman wake up to be attentive to these matters. Short of most of them being assaulted I honestly don't know what would cause them to wisen up. For me it was the growing awareness of the violence from the younger males who seem to have no conscience at all because they know that our laws would protect them rather than punish them that quickened me to do more than just be 'as alert as I could be'. Knowing that the growing trend seems to be for thugs to do whatever they want without consequence really grates against every nerve that I have. The real clincher, being honest here, was the fact that Obama could be elected and more of our freedoms would be taken away due to his wanting the government to be too heavily involved in our lives. At best gun owners would be severely restricted. I (we) figured if we already had our licenses in hand before the election then it would be much harder to try to take it away from us than to be regulated out the ying-yang to get it in the first place.

I've probably said too much but this was what was on my mind when I read your post.

I'm a mom. Nothing phases me anymore. Let your comments fly and let us reason together over very important issues.

MamaBear
 

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You go Girl !!...I gave up trying to figure ya'll out years ago..My wife grew up kind of a tomboy so she has no fear of guns. Her dad had 'em, she shot 'em. Went hunting etc..however I dont think the majority of the female species are like that or male for that matter. The only females who I've seen carry were ones whose family life had a strong influence from either husband or father or had been assaulted in way or another. Very few take it up on their own..
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Mamabearto2:

Glad you made it to this post ma'am. just a quick question.....when a woman screams, is there some magic forcefield that goes up. Maybe if schools had a "for females only" class to try and prepare them for what is up and comming in their lives, more would be saved. Show some slide presentations of what attacked women look like (the ones that survive) and maybe a few that didn't. I just watched a show the other night that had a closing line of "over 20,000 women go missing every year in the USA". This is a very important issue for everyone who knows or is a female. I just can't figure out how to change the mindset of mine.
 

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sgtlogan,

There is no magic protective shield when a woman screams. I did scream when I was attacked and even though I was in front of an apartment complex no one came to my rescue so it was up to me to defend myself. I am very, very fortunate that as far as violent attacks go it was on the low end of the spectrum. It was traumatic enough but in retrospect I can only imagine what would have happened to me had it been a different man attacking me. I was totally unprepared to be a victim. It never even occurred to me to get a gun afterwards for protection. I think had I been dating a man at the time who would have suggested it I would have been open for it. Timing is everything. It took up until this year for that to come to fruition. There was no one in my crowd of friends who were gun owners so it never even entered into my mind that it was possible and legal for me to do so. In other words, there was no one to guide me and educate me. I don't know that women are so against guns as they are just not aware that it is really ok for them to own one.

It wasn't that I was mindless back when my attack took place but in my mind I knew I didn't behave in a careless way that would invite anything. By that I mean I was careful about where I went and what I wore. Yes, I said that. In saying that I *do not* and will *never* imply that loosely dressed women deserve anything negative to happen to them. I am saying that if a woman chooses not to actively pursue personal defense (either with martial arts, self defense course or any type of weapon) there needs to be some level of personal responsibility from that woman in how she acts and dresses due to the degrading of our society of how a man should treat a woman. Quite frankly, some men think they deserve any woman they take a liking to whether or not that woman approved or not. That is when it turns to violence and no one deserves that. At the same time I know that most of the women I see (especially around the college) are so provocative in their dress that I wonder sometimes if they have the wherewithal to prevent any unwanted advances that they unintentionally (or intentionally) advertised. They may be advertising for the cute ones but when the unlovely pursue them they must be ready to face the consequences they invited by dressing and acting like a hoochie momma. Like it or not - fair or not - some men will turn violent in response to how a woman dresses and acts. Unfortunately, women are just not safe in our current environment.

I know this is probably not the answer you were looking for but I wanted you to hear from a woman's perspective on the progression in the mind of going from a non-gun owner to pursuing a CCL.

Hope this helps. I'm sure I said too much. I'm good at that.

MamaBear
 

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It did not take much to get me out of my bubble. Years ago one of my brothers died violently by the the hands of a robber. It did affect me but I lived in a country where getting and licensing a gun is very difficult so I did not attempt to own or thought about owning one. Years later it finally happened when my husband decided to get one and introduced me to shooting. I did not hesitate because I was always aware of my surroundings and the scum that roam this earth.

My daughter is now 20 yrs old and I constantly talk to her about safety and to be aware of her surroundings. I want her to go to the range but she is not really interested. I'm not sure why. She is away at school but when she comes home again I'll take her to the range. She will not have a choice. After that she can make up her own mind as to what to do about owning a gun.
 

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My daughter is now 20 yrs old and I constantly talk to her about safety and to be aware of her surroundings. I want her to go to the range but she is not really interested. I'm not sure why. She is away at school but when she comes home again I'll take her to the range. She will not have a choice. After that she can make up her own mind as to what to do about owning a gun.
Mom-g26,

Since my daughter is only 14 I'm not where you are so I'm only speculating here. I'm wondering out loud if your daughter is simply not ready for the gun range if you could make a compromise and offer to her to take a self defense class of some kind instead...for now. That way no bridges will be burnt over guns but she will still take some sort of defense class. Who knows that at the class other people might bring up owning guns in addition to what the class is covering. Sometimes hearing the same thing from different sources might alert her to the seriousness of being responsible for her own safety.

Although we've taken the kids to the range a few times neither one of them are interested in shooting yet. My daughter is simply not interested at all but my son (age 12) got an air soft gun for his birthday. He carries it 'concealed' around the house because he is practicing. It sticks out like a branch under his shirt but I let him get away with it since we are in the house. Regardless of whether we can get them to shoot any time soon they have already been informed that they will take a self defense class before they leave our home for college. I've already planted that seed in their minds and will cultivate that in the years to come. When she is a senior I will make good on those plans. Besides the fact she is a bit petite so giving her a few years of growing will help.

Maybe you could offer that to your daughter in the meantime. Just a thought.

MamaBear
 

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Mom-g26,

Since my daughter is only 14 I'm not where you are so I'm only speculating here. I'm wondering out loud if your daughter is simply not ready for the gun range if you could make a compromise and offer to her to take a self defense class of some kind instead...for now. That way no bridges will be burnt over guns but she will still take some sort of defense class. Who knows that at the class other people might bring up owning guns in addition to what the class is covering. Sometimes hearing the same thing from different sources might alert her to the seriousness of being responsible for her own safety.

Although we've taken the kids to the range a few times neither one of them are interested in shooting yet. My daughter is simply not interested at all but my son (age 12) got an air soft gun for his birthday. He carries it 'concealed' around the house because he is practicing. It sticks out like a branch under his shirt but I let him get away with it since we are in the house. Regardless of whether we can get them to shoot any time soon they have already been informed that they will take a self defense class before they leave our home for college. I've already planted that seed in their minds and will cultivate that in the years to come. When she is a senior I will make good on those plans. Besides the fact she is a bit petite so giving her a few years of growing will help.

Maybe you could offer that to your daughter in the meantime. Just a thought.

MamaBear
Hi Mama Bear,

My daughter actually took a self defense class her first year in college which I was very grateful for especially because it was initiated by her. She knows how concerned I am about campus safety and how female students take for granted that every male they pass in school in the early morning hours after partying must be a student. They have campus police and the emergency posts all over campus but it's no excuse not to learn to defend yourself.

Anyway the campus police has a defense class primarily for female students so she signed up. I remember when she came home for Christmas that year and she demonstrated what she learned, she was very passionate about it and I was really proud that she did it for herself and not because I asked.

I know she is conscious of her surroundings most times but I'm also aware that she can be giddy headed at times too. Hopefully, when she comes home next holiday, her dad and I will have the opportunity to take her to the range. :rifle
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you ladies...I wish I could get all of the women I know to see thru both of your eyes. Maybe even all women period. How can we make this happen, or is it too large of a task. My other half won't even watch real tv when it is showing forensic murder case files..."too gross" "you watch that stuff, I am going to watch the other tv". It has just never happened to anyone she knows, so it doesn't really happen. BUT....I truly thank both of you ladies for speaking out.
 

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I know she is conscious of her surroundings most times but I'm also aware that she can be giddy headed at times too. Hopefully, when she comes home next holiday, her dad and I will have the opportunity to take her to the range. :rifle
Mom-g26,

I'm glad to see that your daughter has already taken the initiative by taking a self defense class. I would assume that most college girls haven't even given it a second thought. I'm also glad to see her campus actively involved in safety.

At this point I have to say I'm in your camp in wanting to pursue taking her to the range to further educate her on personal responsibility. Since she has already taken the first step in becoming more aware of her surroundings by taking a self defense class this would seem the next logical step. Hopefully, this time she will see it your way.

Best wishes for when she comes home for her visit,

MamaBear
 

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You say you've asked her to go to the range. Have you approached from the "just for fun" angle? Try leaving out the personal safety aspect and see if she'll go just to try it once. Start her with a .22 if you have one or can rent one. If she has fun going to the range with you she's likely to continue and may progress to concealed carry on her own. You can't change her mind over night. (Try to go on a day there are other ladies so she won't feel out of place.) Good luck!
 

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Mamma Bear,
I'm raising my 14 years old niece, so I know how stubborn a teen girl can be. The approach we took was to just make her go and make her shoot. She didn't want to at first, but once she started shooting the .22 my husband and I didn't get to do much shooting ourselves. We spent most of the time reloading the magazines for her! Now we have to sneak off to the range to shoot or we barely get the chance. Guess it's time to teach her to load her own.
 
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