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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Curious how others on the forum interact with money beggars at gas stations, stores and at traffic lights. I watch crime stories in my area closely, to know and learn what criminals are up to lately and what to watch for. Here in Orlando, there have been several cases of car-jacking and robberies related to some of these characters. They stand at the front door of stores, and approach you sometimes while pumping gas. Because of past experiences and of news stories, I no longer have patience for this. As for money beggars at store fronts, I totally ignore them, no eye contact, no response. If approached while pumping gas, I raise my hand and tell them to "stop, I have nothing for you" in a very firm manner, which lets them know to turn around and walk away, which they do. Of course this can have the opposite effect as it did a few months ago when walking into the gas station. The guy standing at the door greeted me as if I was his long lost friend. I knew all he wanted was money. I just walked past him. On the way out, he got angry and started following me a bit, accusing me of being racist because I did't engage him.
Last night at around 8 pm, I stopped at a 7-11 and there were 2 guys standing around the corner talking, and watching my every move as I got out of my car and entered store. I made eye contact and let them know I was aware of their every move and my demeanor was, " I know your watching me, I'm not afraid, don't f... with me. They just looked. It doesn't help that I drive an expensive car.

I understand there is mental illness and people have issues, however in this day and age, to me, its not worth engaging them. I don't understand why store owners and employees allow them to engage customers while entering their stores. Not good business. It makes me want to shop elsewhere. If it was just about getting money for food, maybe, but a lot of these people are getting money for drugs and alcohol. My stance may seem harsh, but that's the choice I've made. Wondering what others think or handle this issue?
 

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:2thumsup
Ronnie

I know exactly what you mean. You have to be on guard 24 / 7 now days, Even at home.
 

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I never give.
When filling the tank,I lock car and look around while the tank fills.
 

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What I don't like about beggars is that they end up engaging in what I consider to be a terrible state of affairs for a defensive carrier. They approach you harmlessly, not with any overt hostile intent, just wanting to spin their BS yarn about how they work for the post office and are trying to get their mom to the hospital and they ran out of gas and just need a couple bucks. Whatever. Bottom line is they get well inside the radius that I don't want anybody in, and legally there isn't much you can do about it. Once they are that close, if they decide to snap and go crazy on you, they are possibly too close for conventional gun play, and I don't really have a desire to go hands-on with any of these turds.

I'd really like to do a "stop right there, don't come any closer", which might shut down and deter some people, but might also enrage some people and cause an issue when there wouldn't have otherwise been one.

I'm a really polite person by nature, and I have been told I have a friendly face. It is difficult for me to completely dehumanize these people and just absolutely not look at them and pretend they don't exist. They prey upon that friendliness and then I have to tell them a story of my own "yeah, sorry, I never carry cash these days" (which is actually true most of the time), and generally that sends them on their way - but I'd just really rather not have to deal with it.

Some days I wish I were more of an a-hole. I wish I could just say "listen man, I don't know you, I don't want to talk to you, and it would be best for everyone involved if you just stayed the eff over there".
 

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When approached by such individuals, I just firmly tell them I've got nothing for them. If they persist, I get downright sh***y with them and tell them to f**k off. So far, this approach has worked 100% of the time. Now if they decide to get aggressive, well, let's just say it wouldn't be the first time I've had to ruin someone's day. :grin

Just remember, if you're approached while pumping gas, a gas pump nozzle can be a pretty formidable weapon.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
One instance I read about lately was a guy walking into a 7-11 was asked for a cigarette, when he gave the guy a cig, the guy pulled out a gun and took his keys and his car.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
When approached by such individuals, I just firmly tell them I've got nothing for them. If they persist, I get downright sh***y with them and tell them to f**k off. So far, this approach has worked 100% of the time. Now if they decide to get aggressive, well, let's just say it wouldn't be the first time I've had to ruin someone's day. :grin

Just remember, if you're approached while pumping gas, a gas pump nozzle can be a pretty formidable weapon.
:thumsup
 

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I've been lucky. I eat lunch at an old mom and pop place in a not so nice edge of town. So far holding up the hand like a traffic cop and sternly saying "STOP Don't come any closer" has worked 100 percent of the time. I did have a hooker stop but then walk up to the window after I got in my truck and ask me several times to roll down my window. I just slowwwley backed up and drove away.

My biggest fear of the lady beggars is the possible boyfriend hiding around the corner. I am more careful with them that with an old man.

And we all know what happens if you give a cute 16 year old girl 500 dollars for half and half. No more printed guns for you.

Just say no to everyone!!

+2 on the gas hose. Do a visualization of that one every time you pump gas.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I've been lucky. I eat lunch at an old mom and pop place in a not so nice edge of town. So far holding up the hand like a traffic cop and sternly saying "STOP Don't come any closer" has worked 100 percent of the time. I did have a hooker stop but then walk up to the window after I got in my truck and ask me several times to roll down my window. I just slowwwley backed up and drove away.

My biggest fear of the lady beggars is the possible boyfriend hiding around the corner. I am more careful with them that with an old man.

And we all know what happens if you give a cute 16 year old girl 500 dollars for half and half. No more printed guns for you.

Just say no to everyone!!

+2 on the gas hose. Do a visualization of that one every time you pump gas.
Just curious, when you say " gas pump nozzle " , are you thinking of using nozzle to strike them or pouring gas on them ?
 

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Discussion Starter #10
And we've heard of the instances where someone has stopped to help a stranded lady only to be ambushed by men in hiding. The world is definitely getting worst.
 

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I won't share what I normally do in this forum (again) as I know 99% of people here disagree, and it largely depends of the time of the month it happens too...so.

Y'all might disagree with me but living and working on the worst parts of town in a 3M+ people county and never having and issue, maybe I'm doing something right...or not wrong...or I'm extremely lucky (which I don't believe so, because still haven't won the lottery and I think that having an incident in Miami should be more possible than winning the lotto). So that's the end of the point: I don't deal like any of the above.

But I'm posting just to point out ONE thing I don't agree. Strongly. No matter what you do, say or act, "no eye contact" is a huge mistake in my book. I don't know what the "experts" think about it, but for me, persons not making eye contact are from a predator POV, a victim. Afraid, timid, ultimately weak, plain and simple, a victim. I look people on the eye while thinking (and hopefully transmitting): I can take you; not only I can take you but I can take you down; I won't lose sleep over it; and also I can remember you later anywhere I see you. I helps that I truly believe all of that. It doesn't matter ultimately if it is true or not. I've been "interviewed" by con artists, robbers, thieves, rapists and mentally ill persons. So far, and fortunately, I've always "failed" the interview, and I believe in large part is not looking like a victim. Every person is different, so my 2 cents might only work for me.

Of course, a normal person doesn't need to interact or (ever) talk to beggars, con artists, robbers, thieves, rapists and mentally ill persons, but I have never claimed to be normal. :grin How'd you make friends then? :rofl

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Just curious, when you say " gas pump nozzle " , are you thinking of using nozzle to strike them or pouring gas on them ?
either
 

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Never, Ever, Trust a PanHandler that he is just PanHandling!!! Most likely he is! But, never let down your guard. Better safe than sorry. I always have my hand on my gun when I am uncertain in the slightest manner as to the person approaching me.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I won't share what I normally do in this forum (again) as I know 99% of people here disagree, and it largely depends of the time of the month it happens too...so.

Y'all might disagree with me but living and working on the worst parts of town in a 3M+ people county and never having and issue, maybe I'm doing something right...or not wrong...or I'm extremely lucky (which I don't believe so, because still haven't won the lottery and I think that having an incident in Miami should be more possible than winning the lotto). So that's the end of the point: I don't deal like any of the above.

But I'm posting just to point out ONE thing I don't agree. Strongly. No matter what you do, say or act, "no eye contact" is a huge mistake in my book. I don't know what the "experts" think about it, but for me, persons not making eye contact are from a predator POV, a victim. Afraid, timid, ultimately weak, plain and simple, a victim. I look people on the eye while thinking (and hopefully transmitting): I can take you; not only I can take you but I can take you down; I won't lose sleep over it; and also I can remember you later anywhere I see you. I helps that I truly believe all of that. It doesn't matter ultimately if it is true or not. I've been "interviewed" by con artists, robbers, thieves, rapists and mentally ill persons. So far, and fortunately, I've always "failed" the interview, and I believe in large part is not looking like a victim. Every person is different, so my 2 cents might only work for me.

Of course, a normal person doesn't need to interact or (ever) talk to beggars, con artists, robbers, thieves, rapists and mentally ill persons, but I have never claimed to be normal. :grin How'd you make friends then? :rofl

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I understand your view on " no eye contact " , but few things are black and white. Body language says a lot. You can send a message without eye contact.
 

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I understand your view on " no eye contact " , but few things are black and white. Body language says a lot. You can send a message without eye contact.
maybe.
A lot of things matter... for example I had a friend who was way over 6 feet tall since he was like 12 and never was in a fight. Calmest sweetest person but huge dude. he always told me the main reason was that people steered away from him so he never found problems. Then, when you are on the short side and like to mix with doubtful characters, your demeanor, behavior, and attitude will need to be different to have same results. Call it compensation maybe but don't forget that's what they say about gun owners :grin

I mess with beggars and drunkards without reason. Talk, joke, give food or give a hard time, periodically. And at 5'2" I have to look UP to most people. I don't know what other people see on me, but nobody has seen yet a target, so, whatever it is, it works for me. :dunno Whatever vibe I put out, it is not "I don't want to see you... I'll ignore you... You are not there.".... Nope...my thing is more like "I see you... I know what you are doing... and whatever i do, I don't give two figs about what you are doing.." The last part have been very important in my life. kind of have made me friends in low places. Heck, I have walked to con artists when I cannot figure out what is the gig just from looking (once I scared the heck out of two thinking I was a cop or something, other made the guy blushed and go embarrassed). But that's just me. i know I'm special :grin
 

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Meh. My expression and demeanor, combined with a sunny disposition, usually even keeps aquaintences from approaching
 

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maybe.
A lot of things matter... for example I had a friend who was way over 6 feet tall since he was like 12 and never was in a fight. Calmest sweetest person but huge dude. he always told me the main reason was that people steered away from him so he never found problems. Then, when you are on the short side and like to mix with doubtful characters, your demeanor, behavior, and attitude will need to be different to have same results. Call it compensation maybe but don't forget that's what they say about gun owners :grin

I mess with beggars and drunkards without reason. Talk, joke, give food or give a hard time, periodically. And at 5'2" I have to look UP to most people. I don't know what other people see on me, but nobody has seen yet a target, so, whatever it is, it works for me. :dunno Whatever vibe I put out, it is not "I don't want to see you... I'll ignore you... You are not there.".... Nope...my thing is more like "I see you... I know what you are doing... and whatever i do, I don't give two figs about what you are doing.." The last part have been very important in my life. kind of have made me friends in low places. Heck, I have walked to con artists when I cannot figure out what is the gig just from looking (once I scared the heck out of two thinking I was a cop or something, other made the guy blushed and go embarrassed). But that's just me. i know I'm special :grin
Special ain't descriptive enough. Come sit on my lap:p
 

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Your posture, demeanor, eye contact all make a difference. You can look like a predator or look like prey. Look like a predator yourself and very few, if any, will bother you.
 

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Just curious, when you say " gas pump nozzle " , are you thinking of using nozzle to strike them or pouring gas on them ?
I'm visualizing, spraying them with gasoline. Like a giant bear spray.

Refuse to be a victim. Be willing to use anything as a weapon.
 

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Some years ago, in another life, I was a long haul truck driver. Not a day went by without someone approaching me at a truck stop with the “I haven’t eaten in x days” sob story. After awhile, I grew weary of avoidance. I wasn’t rich but I could spare a meal for someone truly in need. I started telling them, “well, that’s horrible, step into the restaurant with me and I’ll get you the buffet and you can have all you want to eat”. In 10 years, I only had one take me up. Most would tell me they want to eat later, just the money please. “Nope, if you haven’t eaten in x days, you’re hungry now.”

Did I get taken for a buffet that day? Perhaps. He seemed genuinely thankful. I even gave the dirty fella one of my shower tickets. (Back then you got a free shower ticket with every fill-up. Most drivers had stacks of them in the cab.) Maybe I got taken for a crappy buffet. I’ll, never know. But, I found it an effective way to get the other 99.9% of them to just go away without bothering my conscience.

Granted that was 30 years ago. It’s a different world today. I’m a different person today. My conscience has more calluses. :grin

Also about 30 years ago, again a different world, I was helping a friend fix up a warehouse on Paramore in DT Orlando when a fella asked for gas money to get to work. My buddy handed him a few bucks and we watched him go right into a nearby liquor store and walk out with a brown bag.

The idiot tried to fleece us again a week later. We told him if he’d just been honest and said he was tweaking for a drink, we might have still given it. But, no dice ever again. We promptly got a : censored you!! as we walked away. :banghead

These days I agree, being generous is too dangerous. I lean more to NSB’s approach. I’ll avoid contact, but I want them to know I see them. And I’m watching. If that doesn’t work, my voice sure will. I try to keep my car, or another car or something between us. Distance is your friend. If they try to close that distance, I’m too old to play games. I just tell them to beat feet in less kinder words than I can say here and get back in my car, even if it means I don’t get my snack from the store or my gas.
 
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