New virus strain identified.
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  1. #1
    Distinguished Member AFJuvat's Avatar
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    New virus strain identified.

    Apparently scientists have identified a new strain of this virus called H15-Steria.

    It is far more widespread than the COVID-19 strain attacks uppper brain function, which causes people to lose all grip on reality and perspective and causes them to panic buy toilet paper for some reason.

    Some people have even been known to buy rolls of paper towels and cut them in half as an emergency supply.

    Victims of the H15-Steria strain also seem to be confusing COVID-19 with dysentery hence the panic toilet paper buying thing.

    This strain is also responsible for people doing little else but talk about it on various forums and social media platforms.

    H15-Steria also seems to prevent people from leaving their homes except to go to Costco for toilet paper.

    Very Concerning...

    It also makes them think they should ditch the thousands they have spent on trips.

    If it sounds like you might be already infected with H15-Steria, the CDC recommends the following course of action:

    1. Grasp each earlobe firmly between the thumb and forefinger of each hand.

    2. Pull each earlobe down sharply while yelling the word "POP" as loudly as possible.

    3. Now that you have pulled your head out of your a$$, go to your nearest rational friend, make certain you are wearing a useless face mask of course, and have them talk sense into you.

    Thank You, now F*ck Off!
    Last edited by AFJuvat; 03-13-2020 at 10:11 PM.
    To speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming.

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    Super Moderator BeerHunter's Avatar
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    Brilliant!
    Last edited by BeerHunter; 03-13-2020 at 09:05 PM.
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    Senior Member rayman's Avatar
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    Wife went shopping at Publix tonight. Came home and told me there wasn’t a single roll of tp on the shelves, completely bare. Fortunately, I have some at my office I can bring home if necessary. Never seen that happen before, even when a hurricane is on the way.
    "The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt

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    People are panic buying like crazy. I just went for some cough medicine and Kleenex for myself and for my kiddos in case they get sniffles in spring break trip with the grandparents. There was only about 5 cases of Dasani water. Zero toilet paper and half the Kleenex was gone too. As waiting in line to check out one lady was telling other people that everyone was buying up stuff because there is a fear that the stores will get closed soon!

    My wife got a text from a friend who has a nephew who has a friend (you can’t make this sheet up) who allegedly works at pentagon. Rumor is that in a week they are going to announce a four week stay at home quarantine for the nation!

  8. #7
    Distinguished Member joecarry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArthurDent View Post
    Wife went shopping at Publix tonight. Came home and told me there wasn’t a single roll of tp on the shelves, completely bare. Fortunately, I have some at my office I can bring home if necessary. Never seen that happen before, even when a hurricane is on the way.
    Saw the same thing last night at my Publix. Not a single roll of tp on the shelves and most all paper towels are gone too. So silly.
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    Distinguished Member 10x's Avatar
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    That sums it up!

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    Super Moderator BeerHunter's Avatar
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    Humor thread hijack?
    -BH

    Member: Florida Carry, COTEP 766, SAF, GOA, NRA Endowment Life
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    Please consider joining NRA at www.nra.org and Florida Carry at www.floridacarry.org

    “The greatest danger to American freedom is a government that ignores the Constitution.”
    -- Thomas Jefferson, Third President of the United States

    "Those who 'abjure' violence can only do so because others are commuting violence on their behalf."
    -- George Orwell


    "The ultimate result of shielding men from folly is to fill the world with fools."
    -- Herbert Spencer

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    Mexico closes border (allegedly)
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